My story inspired my work

Like any good hero’s journey, I didn’t start at the finish line.

If the “finish line” is loving myself, I started at the other end of the spectrum.

I grew up with what felt like a KNOWING that I wasn’t worthy.

There was this sense that I was different from everyone around me, unknowable, and unloveable.

We can look to several factors to blame for this core belief (religious programming, societal expectations, and the like) but in the end, all that mattered is where it led me.

I would swim into a vast darkness before I found my light again.

My Dark Night of the Soul was sung to the tune of eating disorders, self-harm, abusive relationships, and constant self-abandonment.

I tell you this because I no longer hold shame about these years of my life.

I understand the larger picture because I have journeyed beyond these behaviors and dynamics and evolved into a human who surrounds themselves with love instead of fear.

I understand now that every single ounce of my pain was felt so that I would carve out the depth within myself to withstand the transformation that was calling me forward.

My spiritual awakening led me to the girl in the mirror.

I found her, curled up and hurting, and I finally turned towards her.

I slowed down enough to listen to her.

I followed her cues, I tuned my heart to her whispers.

I opened myself enough to become a willing recipient of the love the universe had for me.

Day by day, I created a new self.

The change was radical.

I stopped punishing myself for being human.

I stopped burning my house down for those who needed a place to stay warm.

I built a fortress that was big enough for all of me.

The dark and light within me learned to co-exist, and bit by bit, the darkness released its hold, surrendering to the light that was bursting through the seams of my heart.